The Conscious Clan: pledge your allegiance

There has been at least one benefit to three successive lockdowns: time to think. And shopping more sustainably has been at the forefront of our minds ever since. But this hasn't resulted in a homogeny of approaches. In fact, factions have been formed. So where do your sensibilities fit?

THE FAST FASHION PHOBE

Yes, you love Love Island, but you audibly tut at the various adverts of flammable dresses and luminous two-pieces that it showcases throughout. You know the height of the slit up the front of that £16 dress is directly proportional to the number of disparaging glares from environmental enthusiasts it warrants. Even the great and the good of the British high street aren’t exempt from your boycotted brands list. It doesn’t matter what nebulous adjective – conscious, ethical – they stick in front of their devastatingly good new collections, or how commendable they actually are, you simply will not budge. And as a result, your budget is as high as that slit.

DOLCE & GABBANA Silk Josephine Bonaparte T-Shirt, £675 AT HARRODS

AQUAZZURA SUNDANCE 140 GOLD LEATHER PLATFORM SANDALS, £620 AT HARVEY NICHOLS

THE ONE-IN-ONE-OUT-ER

You endlessly despair about how much ‘stuff’ you have. You vow to operate your wardrobe like the door policy of a Mayfair club: one in, one out. Yes, there’s a clipboard and yes, the system is totally motivating because the sum of anything sold winds up in your PayPal account, where it becomes like, erm, free money. Right? And the beauty of using Vestiaire Collective concierge is that you don’t have to hang, photograph, describe or haggle, which leaves ample time for scrolling and spending on everyone else's accounts. You break only to take advantage of the Outnet’s 30% flash sale. Discount code: STOPKIDDINGYOURSELF30.

MM6 MAISON MARGIELA Terry-jacquard shoulder bag, £300 £165 AT THE OUTNET

THREE GRACES MIA COTTON MINI DRESS, £350 AT BROWNS

THE INVESTMENT PIECE SHOPPER

You’ve vowed to change your shopping habits. You can fully justify spending £620 on the Gucci embellished cotton T-shirt because it’s literally the only T-shirt you will buy this week, *coughs*. This month? OK, you’re not so sure on the conscious shopping frequency criteria, but now you’re investing all your focus, infinite scrolling and bank account into the one piece of your dreams. It’ll last longer because the quality is better. It’ll put your other T-shirts to shame (in more ways than one). And it will forcibly dampen your high-street habit because it’ll use up your whole paycheck in one go.

BOTTEGA VENETA GATHERED-WAIST WOOL-BLEND SWEATER, £810 AT MATCHESFASHION

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN ROSE MOTIF PENCIL SKIRT, £790 AT FARFETCH