Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just put on an item of clothing for practical reasons and be done with it? No more overthinking. No need to account for colour coordination. No stress. This is how it should be with wool beanies, but somehow they don’t have the ease of gloves and scarves. Oddly, they incite anxiety in even the most apathetic of dressers.
This might have something to do with the simple fact that beanies are hats. Of all accessories, hats tend to be the ones that are the most vilified. “Hats do NOT suit me at all,” people cry. “My head is too small,” they explain. In a world far fuller of bigheaded people, this itself is fascinating. The issue with beanies, however, is their size – the size of people’s heads has little to do with it. Wear one too big and you’ll look like a gnome (or a 2008 sixth-former); wear one too small and you might literally be mistaken for a Tiny Hat, even if you’ve never been anywhere near a skateboard and aren’t particulary partial to ghosting – but somewhere in between is perfect.
As the only outdoor fun you can have this month is going on mindlessly long walks, a wool beanie is essential. Otherwise you’ll be cold, obviously. It’s fortunate, then, that wool beanies should come in an array of colours and knits. For those who like theirs as plain as possible, we recommend something by Jil Sander or Sportmax. If you’d prefer something slightly more colourful, go to Ganni. And if it’s a pattern you want, Ashley Williams and Missoni are both excellent options. But maybe it doesn’t matter what it looks like. It’s just a hat, after all, isn’t it? Not something to be neurotic about at all – that would be ridiculous!