Fashion

KNEE-HIGH BOOTS RANKED FROM LEAST TO MOST INTIMIDATING

In a pair of these you are not to be messed with

24.12.2020

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While you might not have had much chance to wear your entire collection in a year like this, boots are omnipresent once autumn swings around – our compensation for having to put away our bikinis.

Within this cohort, ankle boots are rightfully essential. They go with everything, so it’s nice to have them around – like a positive person at a party, if you remember those. Hiking boots will probably have been a new addition borne of the 2020 walking craze. You are grateful for the air of practicality they have bestowed on you if nothing else. But neither of these have quite the impact of knee-high boots.

Unlike ankle boots which often blend into an outfit undetected, knee-high boots display themselves boldly – sometimes even to the extent that what they’re worn with is rendered insignificant. They mean business. What that business is exactly is never certain, but it’s always likely to be important. All in all, this makes for a very intimidating shoe.

The responsibility of wearing such an intimidating shoe can be daunting, though. This is why we’ve ranked our favourite knee-high boots from least to most intimidating.

So what percentage are you?

12.5% INTIMIDATING

CELINE CLAUDE BOOT IN SUEDE CALFSKIN, FROM A SELECTION

You’re hardly intimidating at all – in fact you’re absolutely lovely. The gold hardware indicates that you know your worth, however.

25% INTIMIDATING

SPORTMAX SUEDE KNEE HIGH BOOTS, £990

You have no problem making a complaint about anything, so long as the complaint itself is prefaced by you apologising for complaining.

37.5% INTIMIDATING

WANDLER GREY LINA 95 KNEE-HIGH LEATHER BOOTS, £600 AT BROWNS

You certainly don’t leave work emails resplendent in friendly exclamation marks, but on occasion will grant your colleagues a single kiss.

50% INTIMIDATING

ISABEL MARANT LOENS FOLDOVER-TOP LEATHER KNEE-HIGH BOOTS, £875 AT MATCHESFASHION

You will knowingly stride past someone you vaguely know without stopping to speak to them. In actuality, this is because you’re shy.

62.5% INTIMIDATING

MAX MARA CROCODILE-PRINT LEATHER BOOTS, £885

You make pointed Instagram stories (about people who have hurt you).

75% INTIMIDATING

HERMÈS BRITNEY BOOTS, £1,940

You watch the Instagram stories of your ex’s new partner.

87.5% INTIMIDATING

PARIS TEXAS Block-heel crocodile-embossed leather knee-high boots, £495 AT SELFRIDGES

You stare at your ex and their new partner in a public space – possibly while they are trying to have a romantic dinner – wearing these exact boots.

100% INTIMIDATING

CHANEL HIGH BOOTS, £1,400

You don’t need to do anything to be viewed as intimidating. You simply are.

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