Singles! Cuffing season is upon us. That phenomenon of contemporary companionship in which we seek a semi-permanent mate for a winter of getting offended when they evidently CBA with you coming over and - if it’s of audible distance - running both taps before you go to the toilet.
The predecessor of Cuffing Season was, of course, Hot Girl Summer - full of sun, sex with multiple partners, and suspicions you ignored because you were having too much fun having sex with multiple partners.
While you probably spent Hot Girl Summer flitting between various Hunza G and Eres bikinis, Cuffing Season - to which Coat Season is the sartorial equivalent - requires commitment to one and one coat only. This is exactly the respite you need after the confusion of transeasonal dressing. Misery, after all, is your suede Manolo Blahnik Maysales being rained on after that weather app LITERALLY TOLD YOU it was going to be dry all day. (Much like how Hot Girl Summer immediately becomes unappealing once none of your suitors raise you to an actual date and loneliness sets in.)
At the risk of sounding like a bootleg Shirley Bassey, Coat season is basically the new and improved Cuffing Season because coats are forever - at least until next coat season. By this point, you would have been able to resell last year’s lover in contribution to whatever you have your eye on now. Annoyingly, you can’t do that with your human lovers. Never mind the risk of ending up a Cuffing Season casualty when your union doesn’t quite make it to Valentine’s Day and you’re left feeling rejected by someone who ‘isn’t even hot OR funny’.
Listen, we’re not insisting that love is dead and participation in cuffing season is futile but please start celebrating coat season: the Saks Potts you found on Vestiaire Collective will never ghost you.