YOUR SLOGAN T-SHIRT HAS BEEN TALKING ABOUT YOU

Whether the brunt of yours are vintage or Vetements, slogan T-shirts are as perennial as their plainer counterparts. They’re also as diverse, with slogans ranging from (depending on who you ask) the ironic to the inane. There is no Ultimate Slogan T-Shirt because the goal is to have as many as possible for the many facets of your personality. And if you don’t have a personality? You can just get one from a slogan T-shirt, thankfully. But what do they actually say about you? We hazard a guess below:

BLOUSE, £75, NET-A-PORTER

You either really like Gwen Guthrie’s ‘Ain’t Nothin’ Goin’ On but the Rent’ or you want to make it clear that you have no interest in having any romantic involvement with someone without a job - both are very justified.

KSUBI, £90, BROWNS

You want to confuse others with regards to the true meaning of ‘Splendid Submersion’, mostly because you have no idea yourself.

RAEY X CRESSIDA JAMIESON, £125, MATCHES

You want to express hope in a way so subtle that it won’t be too embarrassing when things start to go drastically wrong.

ARIES, £86, FARFETCH

You’re either extremely committed to being an Aries or your knowledge of astrology is so limited that you have no problem having a sign emblazoned across your torso multiple times that does not form a significant part of your natal chart.

IDEA BOOKS, £30, DOVER STREET MARKET

You are suffering from a severe case of impostor syndrome.

SPORTY & RICH, £45, SELFRIDGES

The Moral High Ground is prime real estate to you and you don’t care how patronising you have to be to get there.

MONOGRAM, £29.95, HARRODS

You were the instigator of a very convoluted email chain.

VICTORIA, VICTORIA BECKHAM, £110, HARVEY NICHOLS

You aren’t sure where basic ends and irony begins. You will pussyfoot around this concept for all eternity.