Fashion

We Need To Talk About The Golden Globes Red Carpet. Literally.

Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘naked’ dress, and Beyoncé’s XXL sleeves were some of the biggest talking points at the Golden Globes. And talk about them we did.

Emma Firth | 06.01.2020

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While we’re still contemplating the acceptability of wearing our pyjamas to the office, across the pond the sartorial mood is a very different story, and really it’s all anyone in the office can talk about. No really. Feathers, frills and high-wattage dressing: yes, refreshing our Insta-feed for Golden Globes highlights is the kind of conversation fodder we’ve come back to work for. This year, there was a mixed assortment of red-carpet offerings, inspiring many a watercooler conversation. Here are a few anonymous exchanges.

On Billy Porter Dressing Like A Swan

“Billy Porter. Swan dress. Feathers. Discuss.”

“Fabulous. I kind of wish the train was longer though, you know? Not sure 12 metres of Alex Vinash feathers causes enough of an obstacle for other celebrities to manoeuver around.”

“Apparently Christina Applegate literally ran into it.”

“Those sparkly Jimmy Choo boots. Love! So far, he’s winning.”

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On Gwyneth Paltrow’s ‘Naked’ Dress

“Um. Oh, I’m not sure. Is that Molly Goddard?”

“Nope. Fendi.”

“Oh I’m not sure. The sheerness and the light brown shade I can - I think - get on board with. But I just draw a line at necklace-under-dress.”

“Actually it’s two Bulgari necklaces-under-dress.”

“I don’t know guys, I kind of love it. She’s a brave woman.”

On J.Lo Channelling A Christmas Present

“Bows. They’re everywhere. Why are they so ginormous now?”

“Literally no idea.”

“Would you wear one. A dress, with a bow?

“Unlikely. I’d get stuck in the tube doors.”

On Beyoncé’s Balloon Sleeves

“Big sleeve energy, it’s doing the rounds again! Check out Olivia Coleman, Cate Blanchett, Dakota Fanning. Beyoncé won, for sure. Very 80s…and a bit Disney? I love the gold, though I’m not sure I could pull off the cleavage. No idea who the designer is - she skipped the red carpet and apparently made her bodyguards carry bottles of champagne for the evening. A 2020 mood if ever there was one.”

‘She’s Beyonce, she can do no wrong.’

On Sienna Miller Doing Sienna Miller Circa 2004

“Sienna’s Gucci dress. It’s quite reminiscent of her ‘Jude era’ red carpet look. The citrusy satin, a giant sash, the pastel halter neck – into all of it.”

“She looks a bit like a Golden Globe.”

“Also, she’s reminded me I need to get my highlights done, stat.”

On Michelle Williams’ Tangerine Dream

“Ah, Michelle’s speech was just everything.”

“I know. I love her. I love her dress. I love her.”

“Sorry give me a minute - just on the Net-a-Porter sale in the ORANGE section. It’s just gone to 70% off, now is the time to get all my orange outfits for the entire season. I think this is Louis Vuitton?”

“I know I can’t afford the $70,000 worth of Tiffany & Co. Schlumberger rings she’s wearing but will most definitely be attempting the blue-orchid-on-the-shoulder detail.”

On Phoebe Waller Bridge’s Tuxedo

“Okay, now this is something I’d actually wear in real life. A Ralph & Russo couture trouser suit.”

“She looks amazing but I think it might be bit too real life. I want glamour from the GGs.”

“You absolutely can’t say anything negative about it because she said she’s going to auction it after the awards ceremony and donate the profits to the Australian bushfire relief effort. Just when we all thought we couldn’t love her any more.”

On Charlize Theron’s Underwear As Outerwear

“Is she wearing a corset underneath? Or a bodice? Wait, actually, is that a bustier?

“Maria Grazia Chiuri designed it, the green is something else.”

“I don’t hate it. In fact, I might love it. It’s not a ‘safe’ option. It makes me want to head to La Perla this weekend.”

On Kerry Washington’s Chain Reaction

“It’s official: it’s the season for booby looks.”

“What did you think of Kerry’s outfit? The Altuzarra body harness - is it a bit much?”

“I don’t know but I think belly chains are cool again. Check out Chanel’s resort collection.”

“Sigh. If you insist.”

On Saoirse Ronan’s Sparkle Surprise

“I’m into Saoirse’s sparkles. Feels a bit different than her usual ‘classic’ vibe.”

“It’s very new Celine. It’s very me. It’s my birthday next week, *coughs*.”

“I love you, but not that much. Go Saoirse with a hint of Angelina Jolie split-to-the-thigh Oscars moment.”

ENDS

images | shutterstock

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