BURO. DATING GURU
At least once a day, a woman will stop me to comment on my nails. It remains one of my favourite compliments to receive, primarily because it gives me the opportunity to do my favourite thing: boast about how cheap something chic I bought is.
As soon as “Thanks! They’re Elegant Touch press ons, £6.99 from Superdrug!” is uttered in response, the forensic inspection of my claws begins. Eyes bulge, my hand is snatched up as they inspect what surely cannot be an instant manicure, looking for faults and signs of weakness. It never comes.
As an avid fan of false and detachable keratin (I’m a big wig and false eyelash enthusiast) I’m not sure why it took me so long to make the inevitable transition. Perhaps the undeserved bad wrap made me avoid the God-send hiding in plain sight amongst the polish remover. Now, spreading the press-on gospel is my beauty penance.
Press-on nails have finally reached their final form. There is virtually no design you have saved for reference on Instagram not already stocked on shelves, whether it be holographic coffin nails or ombre, almond shaped claws. My umming and ahhing is now done in the aisle of a drugstore, as opposed to under the nose of a fed up nail technician. Like many, I love having my nails done, not necessarily getting my nails done - coughing through small-talk, firm in the knowledge that I'm inhaling tumour inducing toxins. My press-ons have rid me of all of the worst bits of the process and gained me back time, money and most importantly, the health of my nails. Since using Elegant Touch nails paired with the brand's Protective Glue Barrier, I’ve suffered virtually no damage. And at less than a tenner a pop, are actually about as likely to pop off as an acrylic after a fortnight. When a nail does go, I can simply glue it back on, as opposed to walking around with an eyesore till my next appointment.
You don’t have to take my word for it: your fave probably is already wearing them. Last year's Met Gala saw Solange Knowles, Blake Lively and Priyanka Chopra wearing fake sets by Kiss. Nail stylist Tom Bachik used press-ons to create looks for Kim Kardashian West and Jennifer Lopez. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez boasted an $8 Impress Press-On Manicure on her Instagram stories last year, reminding her followers “THEY ARE NOT CORNY ANYMORE!”.
When it comes to nails, I’ve done and had it all - I grew them out to be long and strong, but got tired of the endless filing and painting. I got much-maligned Acrylics and learnt the hard way how hard damage to nail beds is to reverse. I flirted with Shellac and eventually settled down with Gel nails, thinking busted natural nails were just collateral damage for banging fake ones. But I thank my lucky stars to have seen the light, past the UV light. Life is already hard enough - you owe yourself nails you can apply and remove in less than 10 minutes.
ELEGANT TOUCH PRESS ON NAILS, £6.99