HOW TO SMELL LIKE YOUR STAR SIGN

Be it an aura reading or an angel reading, we are obsessed with the occult. But it’s astrology that’s our favourite. We like it as jewellery, in playlists – even on our faces. By ‘it’ we mean our respective star signs of course, not the entire zodiac. Part of the joy of astrology is in how deeply personal it can be, after all.

Very recently, the Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn marked a new astrological age. Within it, astrologers predict big changes for the future of humankind. What those changes will be exactly is uncertain, but that’s pseudoscience for you.

To celebrate this, we’ve assembled the best perfume for every star sign. It took a lot of deliberation.

CAPRICORN

ACQUA DI PARMA COLONIA FUTURA, FROM £52

With the likes of Michelle Obama and the Duchess of Cambridge among their ranks, Capricorns are known for being responsible. In December, 100% of the net revenue from online sales of Acqua di Parma’s Colonia Futura will be donated to support young people via The Prince’s Trust. If that’s not responsible then we don’t know what is. And yes, its tasting notes – ranging from bergamot and grapefruit to clary sage and vetiver – all work very hard to create something wonderful, just as a Capricorn would.

AQUARIUS

ESCENTRIC MOLECULES ESCENTRIC 01, £72

Behold Escentric 01, an eccentric scent for the most eccentric sign of the zodiac: Aquarius. Being an Aquarius means being an independent and progressive thinker. Iso E Super is an aroma-molecule that was created in a laboratory in 1973. Although it usually exists in relatively low concentrations, Escentric Molecules create fragrances that contain it in large doses. Geza Schoen – the perfumer behind Escentric Molecules – had ‘wanted to create something unconventional’ when he made Escentric 01, but he might as well have said ‘something Aquarius’.

PISCES

BYREDO GYPSY WATER EAU DE PARFUM, FROM £115 AT SPACE NK

A Pisces is just the sort of person to be wailing in sorrow at an infographic one minute and crying tears of delight at a pigeon the next – they’re emotional but mutable. The restlessness of their compassion can be represented by Byredo’s Gypsy Water. An ode to the wanderlust of Romani culture, Gypsy Water invokes a deep connection to all living things. Among them are pine needles and vanilla, at the heart and the base of this scent respectively (alongside many other things). It will really give a Pisces something to cry about – in a good way.

ARIES

LE LABO SANTAL 33 EAU DE PARFUM, FROM £58 AT CULT BEAUTY

If you know an Aries, you will know that they would not settle for anything less than being compared to an iconic fragrance – a cult classic, not a stuffy one. Enter Le Labo’s Santal 33, the most infamous offering from an esteemed selection of scents. It’s leathery! It’s musky! It’s spicy! It’s, well, intoxicating really. Like an Aries at the best of times, this is all confidence and no aggression.

TAURUS

MONOCLE SCENT FOUR: YOYOGI EAU DE TOILETTE, £80 AT DOVER STREET MARKET

In terms of being both sensible and connected to the earth itself, a Taurus is nothing if not grounded. Monocle’s Yoyogi was perfected in Switzerland, a country that evidently relishes in fragrance as much as it does nature. Intended to evoke the sensation of a morning run in the Tokyo park of the same name, Yoyogi graces our nostrils with cypress, freshly mown grass and wormwood. We’d let you borrow it, but Taureans are quite possessive – maybe wait a bit.

GEMINI

MALIN+GOETZ FRAGRANCE DISCOVERY KIT, £22

Hell hath no fury like a Gemini forced into consistency. There is no point in assigning a single perfume to them: they will love it today, hate it tomorrow, and have forgotten it entirely by the end of the week. This is why they need the MALIN+GOETZ fragrance discovery kit – a chance to try the brand’s entire collection of eau de parfums without the pressure of commitment.

CANCER

ATELIER COLOGNE VANILLE INSENSÉE COLOGNE, £55 AT SPACE NK

Some people view Cancers as incredibly loving, but others? Others view them as manipulative. Either way, we are happy to be manipulated by a Cancer wearing Atelier Cologne’s Vanille Insensée. Its notes of Madagascan vanilla and lime evoke the aroma of home baking (something Cancers take to be somewhat of an extreme sport), while the Slovenian oak moss and English Oak Wood signals that notorious moodiness.

LEO

TOM FORD FUCKING FABULOUS EAU DE PARFUM, £228

Show this to a Leo and they themselves will explain why it’s correct.

VIRGO

CHANEL N°5 EAU DE PARFUM SPRAY, FROM £57

With the Virgo cohort including Beyoncé, only a legendary perfume would do in this instance. And there could only be one: Chanel N°5. We doubt it needs an introduction.

LIBRA

FRÉDÉRIC MALLE PORTRAIT OF A LADY EAU DE PARFUM, £245 AT SELFRIDGES

Kim Kardashian is a Libra, and perceptions of this sign tend to be as divisive as she is. Depending on who you ask, they’re either diplomatic and sociable or indecisive and superficial – but really they’re all of these at once. Most Libras are attractive and somewhat feminine, however. Portrait of a Lady by Frédéric Malle – resplendent in raspberry, blackcurrant and rose – is not an homage to stunning selfies, but it could be.

SCORPIO

ZARKOPERFUME MENAGE À TROIS, £116.90 AT COSMETERIE

It’s the sexy, intense and generally misunderstood one: Scorpio. Zarkoperfume’s Ménage à Trois is a fair representation of them. Beneath the scent’s provocative aura is the sweet hint of crushed watermelon; beneath a Scorpio’s admittedly weird energy tends to be someone who is quite lovely. 

SAGITTARIUS

GUERLAIN INSOLENCE EAU DE PARFUM, FROM £79 AT JOHN LEWIS

Prone to extreme bouts of impatience and not thinking before they speak, Sagittarians are – in one word – insolent. It’s fortunate, then, that Guerlain should produce a perfume called ‘Insolence’ that will suit them perfectly. Expect violet, iris and berries.

OPHIUCHUS

O MALONE SCARLET POPPY COLOGNE INTENSE, £86

Given how much it riled people, you'd think blood was shed over the discovery of Ophiuchus. Nestled between Scorpio and Sagittarius, it's allegedly the thirteenth sign of the zodiac and accounts for about 18 days of the sun's time each year. If you're born between November the 29th and December the 17th, you may well be an Ophiuchus instead of a Sagittarius. Or a Libra instead of a Scorpio. Or a something else instead of a something. Basically, adherence to its existence could scupper our astrological identities entirely. And some people don't like the thought of that at all. A star sign that incites such passion needs a passionate fragrance. We suggest Jo Malone's Scarlet Poppy. With notes of ambrette, scarlet poppy and tonka bean, you'll probably want to be an Ophiuchus once you smell it.

Astrology Disparagers

Daisy Marc Jacobs Spring EDT, £60 AT THE PERFUME SHOP 

A sceptic will raise a brow when questioned about their star sign on a date, or ever for that matter. They will tell you there's no evidence that one’s zodiac sign actually correlates to personality, that it can't possibly be written in the stars, and that one's charm, resilience or rage can not, nor should be explained away. The fragrance for such a cynic? One that's abundant with roses because they're charming when undermining your entire belief system and spice because no, they will not hold back.